Fear not so bad after all….

Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
Mark Twain 


I’ve had many happily express that FEAR actually stands for False Evidence Appearing Real as if insisting on that will actually take it away but to no avail. It continues to persist and eventually control most of life’s outcomes. Whereas some fears are founded in just reasons, the biggest percentage are based on assumptions of what will happen if; It holds back any actions you may want to take in life. It doesn’t matter if it’s your relationship, career, health personal development; fear can actually kill all intentions of progress but may actually be used as a tool to develop each of the areas above.

I guess I don’t have to tell you of the different ways that fear can affect your progress since you each have experienced your own share of the monster but you may want to know how to defend yourself against it.

Everything you have ever wanted in life is on the other side of fear. The moment you learn this, you will be miles away from fearing anything. I remember as a child how I braved the dark nights heading home late after playing with friends. I was more scared about some spot along the way that was rumoured to have a 2 faced lion with 6 legs than I was of my mum waiting for me at the door. I proceeded and reached home heart out of my chest but couldn’t believe my victory. The thing with fear is; conquering it once will open more victories against it. However not trying will forever ensure your imprisonment of that fear.

Develop a healthy fear of what will happen if you don’t do something. Give up the bad fear of fearing to do it.

You should be more afraid of what will happen if you don’t talk to that girl of your dreams than when you talk to her.

You should be more afraid of what will happen if you don’t convince your boss that you deserve the promotion than if he thinks of you unworthy.

You should be more afraid of what will happen if you fail at that interview and miss out on the job than fearing the interviewers.

You should be more afraid of how the doctor will look at you and tell you how your lungs are wasted than fearing what will happen if you quit smoking.

You should be more afraid of appearing in the newspapers for rape than fearing what will happen if you don’t fulfil your sexual urges.

You should be more afraid of the look in your daughters face when you tell her that you can’t pay her tuition any more than having your friends laugh at your car.

This is called leveraging your fears. Every fear you have has a bigger opposite positive. For most you will realise that maintaining the fear holds you back, your freedom is actually going against it. It is said that Golola Moses the kick boxer would rather die in the ring than go back to his village for the fear of laughing at him. I don’t know what it is you really fear but am sure it’s not fear that you feel. It’s the fear of failing that is the problem. So, replace that fear with the fear of what will happen if you don’t overcome your fears.

It’s noted that courage is not the absence of fear; courage is the knowledge that what you want is more important than your fear.  That even if you fear your boss, you’ll get courage because the promotion is a better.  That even if you fear approaching the girl of your dreams, you’ll get courage because being with her is better. That even if you fear the interviewers, you’ll get courage because having the job is better. That even if you love the bottle and the smoke, you’ll get courage to quit because you value your health more. That even if we as humans all have sexual urges, you’ll get courage of self-control because you don’t want your face in those papers. That even if you want that new car, you’ll get courage to drive the old one because taking you children through school is a better feeling.

Find something better than your fear. Live a life others only imagine.